Korenomnomnom: Archive

5 tags

Feb 1st

108 notes

Feb 1st

3 notes

8 tags

Feb 1st

54,615 notes

4 tags

Does anyone know of a restaurant that delivers...

Feb 1st

4 tags

I got a call from an attractive man at 3am. Me,...

Me: H-h-hello?
Him: Hey. I have to ask you something. It's kind of weird.
Me: Okay.
Him: I'm being completely serious, by the way.
Me: Okay...
Him: Do you have to poop?
Me: Um, well, no?
Him: Would you be able to poop in the next 20 minutes?
Me: I doubt it.
Him: Okay. I just need somebody to poop in an Easter basket for me.

Feb 1st

5 notes

8 tags

Feb 1st

I've given up on ever having sex again. I'm just...

THE ONE FUCKING NIGHT WHEN MY POTENTIAL SMUSH-BUDDY IS FREE… THERE IS A GIANT BLIZZARD PREVENTING US FROM GETTING TOGETHER. MY VAGINA IS FOREVER ALONE.

Feb 1st

4 tags

Feb 1st

13 notes

Haven’t stopped listening to this song in...

Jan 31st

17 notes

Went on a late night online shopping binge....

I bought a BCBG purse, BCBG clutch, Guess wallet, and Guess coin purse for all under $115, including shipping. AND EVERYTHING MATCHES EVERYTHING ELSE! OMG. Imagine the possibilities.

Jan 31st

1,692 notes

Jan 31st

1,407 notes

Jan 31st

71 notes

Jan 31st

5,045 notes

Jan 31st

994 notes

Jan 31st

828 notes

1 tag

I think I'm going to pierce my septum. I've been...

Jan 31st

I like you so much better when you're naked. I...

Jan 31st

27 notes

Jan 31st

330 notes

Jan 31st

541 notes

Jan 31st

15 notes

Jan 31st

179 notes

Game plan for tonight:

Blaze Kid Cudi Put away last night’s vodka before my mom shoots me in the face Masturbate Tumbl Take naked pictures with Kermie Send naked pictures of myself + Kermie to my coworkers Get sued for sexual harassment

Jan 31st

2,461 notes

My dad is in the hospital. He's never smoked in...

My reaction: go and smoke a shit ton of kush while listening to Kid Cudi. What do you even do in these situations? I’m not crying or anything… I just don’t know what to do or say.

Jan 31st

2,886 notes

Jan 31st

390 notes

Jan 31st

97 notes

Jan 30th

3,729 notes

Jan 30th

589 notes

Highlights of last night (in no particular order):

Stormie turning into Steven Tyler (no, not Freddie Mercury) while jamming out to Queen. A marine getting his ass handed to him at a game of beer pong by a girl in high school. I kidnapped Kermit the frog. Not just a little stuffed animal… he’s my size. We cuddled all night. Stormie finding one cookie. I’ve never seen anyone so happy in my life. Rak’s mangina thankfully...

Jan 30th

Jan 29th

96 notes

Jan 29th

226 notes

Watch

For all my bitches workin’ the juice with me. SNL Jamba Juice Skit (ft. Natalie Portman)

Jan 29th

1,265 notes

Jan 29th

21 notes

To-Do List:

Get out of bed. Go shopping for a cute outfit to wear tonight. Shower. Power nap. Go to the bar to watch KU demolish K-State. Celebrate the victory by fucking the closest attractive man. Orgasm. Don’t die.

Jan 29th